O Sacred Head, Now Wounded

O sacred Head, now wounded, with grief and shame weighed down,
Now scornfully surrounded with thorns, Thine only crown;
O sacred Head, what glory, what bliss till now was Thine!
Yet, though despised and gory, I joy to call Thee mine.

What Thou, my Lord, hast suffered, was all for sinners’ gain;
Mine, mine was the transgression, but Thine the deadly pain.
Lo, here I fall, my Savior! ’Tis I deserve Thy place;
Look on me with Thy favor, vouchsafe to me Thy grace.

Men mock and taunt and jeer Thee, Thou noble countenance,
Though mighty worlds shall fear Thee and flee before Thy glance.
How art thou pale with anguish, with sore abuse and scorn!
How doth Thy visage languish that once was bright as morn!

Now from Thy cheeks has vanished their color once so fair;
From Thy red lips is banished the splendor that was there.
Grim death, with cruel rigor, hath robbed Thee of Thy life;
Thus Thou hast lost Thy vigor, Thy strength in this sad strife.

My burden in Thy Passion, Lord, Thou hast borne for me,
For it was my transgression which brought this woe on Thee.
I cast me down before Thee, wrath were my rightful lot;
Have mercy, I implore Thee; Redeemer, spurn me not!

What language shall I borrow to thank Thee, dearest friend,
For this Thy dying sorrow, Thy pity without end?
O make me Thine forever, and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to Thee.

My Shepherd, now receive me; my Guardian, own me Thine.
Great blessings Thou didst give me, O source of gifts divine.
Thy lips have often fed me with words of truth and love;
Thy Spirit oft hath led me to heavenly joys above.

Here I will stand beside Thee, from Thee I will not part;
O Savior, do not chide me! When breaks Thy loving heart,
When soul and body languish in death’s cold, cruel grasp,
Then, in Thy deepest anguish, Thee in mine arms I’ll clasp.

The joy can never be spoken, above all joys beside,
When in Thy body broken I thus with safety hide.
O Lord of Life, desiring Thy glory now to see,
Beside Thy cross expiring, I’d breathe my soul to Thee.

My Savior, be Thou near me when death is at my door;
Then let Thy presence cheer me, forsake me nevermore!
When soul and body languish, oh, leave me not alone,
But take away mine anguish by virtue of Thine own!

Be Thou my consolation, my shield when I must die;
Remind me of Thy passion when my last hour draws nigh.
Mine eyes shall then behold Thee, upon Thy cross shall dwell,
My heart by faith enfolds Thee. Who dieth thus dies well.

ending the months of silence

hello.

i'm sure at this point i have lost what few readers this blog had months ago, but i think i will humor myself, feed my vanity, and pretend that i have something worthy to be documented on this world wide web.

first, a brief update on my life with the talley's these past few months. it has been wonderful over all. for those of you who know me well (which i suspect is all of you... since i am convinced only Tdogg and Linz read this thing), know that i have many particularities... God seem to have given me an overflowing amount of patience for them... it is probably because they are so full of love that most of the things that typically would irritate me to no end, really brushed right off. i dealt with the curfew just fine and was never bothered by it. while i did, on a daily basis, push andrew's towel a little further on his side of the rack so that it did not touch my towel (anyone else think used towels touching is gross?), i refrained from asking the teenager to keep is wet towel away from mine. although, there has been a few times when i wanted to ask joni NOT to talk to me while i'm in the bathroom... it's a privacy issue really... ^_~ All in all, i love them... i am sad to leave and the whole processes of moving out has been emotional, but rewarding as well. the Lord seems to continue to provide and daily remind me of His commitment to the good and well being of my soul... which comes with so much pain and sorrow, but alas, His glory has been seen... and has been very evident these past few months.

which brings me to my second topic. for the past couple years i have attempted to participate in lent, to no avil. in fact, i believe i broke lent after only two weeks... this year, however, has gone far better. i must admit, it was done out of selfishness. i had originally hoped to lose some weight, cut unnecessary sugar out of my life, and quit my addiction to carbonated beverages. let me tell you, my faithful readers, it has been a difficult ride! i am surrounded by candy, chocolate, and soda at work. i literally see it every half an hour or so and every one around me is either having a soda or eating candy of some kind. it really is amazing that they're not all obese... just a couple of them. =)

i came to the realization last week that temptation is everywhere. there have been so many moments when i have wanted to give up and grab a coke just so i can stay awake at church or just have a tiny bite of chocolate so that i don't go insane. and almost on a daily basis i would walk to the frig at work just to stare at the soda for a few seconds debating whether i should have one or not. and by the grace of God i have been able to run away... sometimes stomp away in frustration. i have never been so aware of my weakness and so painfully aware of temptation...

Jesus is amazing. I am humbled.



*sigh* my last night here was spent watching basketball with the family. how appropriate. =)

i am blessed.

ps
stay tuned to passion week...

a petition of sorts

my heart is filled with sorrow only to be cured by the One whose blood overs over me. it is heavy with sadness for the rebellion of our generation and beyond. oh, how we continually, actively, and knowingly sin against the One who deserves all glory and praise. anger rises in me as i acknowledge the depth of my depravity and the effects of a fallen world.

how long, o Lord? when will You pour out Your wrath and show justice upon your people? will You do nothing as your creation sin against You? will You not discipline Your children? Lord, let your justice and mercy come down like like thunder and strike conviction in our hearts. may it burn with passion and faithfulness!

Finite

having bounds or limits; not infinite; measurable.


eleven weeks, eleven states, one deer, three graduations, two car accidents, one major car wreck/near death experience, one new cell phone, one broken laptop, one semi-stressful wedding, countless parties, and even more flights... is just a glimpse of my summer. now if you multiple that by stress and anxiety, you will get a very overwhelmed amy. not to mention thousands of dollars spent... *shrug*

and yet, here i am sitting in front a laptop (that i'm borrowing!) unscathed and relative sane... is quite a miracle!

and while i did walk away from the accident virtually unharmed and was able to even survive this fallen world thus far, i am far from being invincible. i sat down at church not too long ago, maybe a couple months after my accident, and realized... that it is only by God's grace that i am alive. but at any moment, God can take me home.

i guess all this to say... God is gracious and i am powerless... and... i'm okay with it. and... more than ever... i want to live righteously and a life worthy of His death.



Infinite: unbound, unlimited, not finite, immeasurable, God.

encounter

my eyes, hardly open, and yet, sees so much despair.
my heart, slowly beating, bursts open with agony.
my soul, barely hanging on, weeps.

where are you, dear Lord?
when will you return, dear Jesus?



"i had heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You; therefore i despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes."
Job 42:6

a song

In shady, green pastures, so rich and so sweet,
God leads His dear children along;
Where the water's cool flow bathes the weary one's feet,
God leads His dear children along.

Some through the waters, some through the flood,
Some through the fire, but all through the blood;
Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song,
In the night season and all the day long.

Sometimes on the mount where the sun shines so bright,
God leads His dear children along;
Sometimes in the valley, in darkest of night,
God leads His dear children along.

Some through the waters, some through the flood,
Some through the fire, but all through the blood;
Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song,
In the night season and all the day long.

Though sorrows befall us and evils oppose,
God leads His dear children along;
Through grace we can conquer, defeat all our foes,
God leads His dear children along.

Some through the waters, some through the flood,
Some through the fire, but all through the blood;
Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song,
In the night season and all the day long.

restlessness

the monster is back.

anxiety overwhelms me, tiredness fogs my judgment, emotions cover my logic, and pain surrounds me.

i need Jesus.